You do not want to dwell in The Past. This is a very dangerous thing the ego loves to do and it only causes pain and suffering. The thing you have to come to terms with is that you can-not change the past so feeling bad about what happened is destructive behavior to engage in. Ok you could be better off if you had done x y z, so what? Maybe you’d be different, maybe you wouldn’t. You could actually be worse off if you had done something different. Arguing with the fact you could be better or worse off is irrelevant, that is the ego nitpicking the situation and not seeing the Big Picture, which is that The Past is something that already happened. Speculation about what coulda shoulda woulda been is a waste of brain power that could be used for fixing your current situation.
The ego will try to link your identity to the past. Because you did x y z bad things, that makes you a bad person so you have to carry on that way because that’s “who you are.” This is complete rubbish. Or you are constantly beating yourself up for what you did and essentially held prisoner to your past because of guilt. Everything happens for a reason. “Bad” things you’ve done should not be viewed as “you”, they should simply be viewed as learning experiences to grow spiritually. We live in a very dysfunctional society so for you to engage in some craziness is actually perfectly normal once you understand that society is designed for you to be insane. That’s just to help you cope with the past because I know it can eat you up. I used to always kick myself and talk down to myself for not doing so and so and it really is no way to live. You want to free yourself from this madness of being stuck in ego because it is literally trying to cause harm to your spirit/kill you.
The ego not only links personal identity to the past but also others. The ego thinks very small and the idea that someone has changed their life around or improved is inconceivable. I’ll relate this piece to my Father who I recently met with and referenced stuff from a few months ago when I first had The Revelation to Make The World a Better Place. I told him that dwelling in the past is irrelevant because my intelligence has evolved a tremendous amount since then. He said he wasn’t dwelling in the past and then I had to break down to him that “were”, “told you already”, “we spoke” were past tense terms. He just wasn’t getting it and that’s the ego in him. The same way my growth is not possible and makes little sense to him is the same way his preference to linger in the past makes no sense to me. The difference is I understand his thought process while he can-not fully grasp mine because he is locked in an ego mindset and lacks Spiritual Enlightenment. I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m like some Zen Master or some like Guru Spiritual person but I do understand it on a variety of levels and I meditate on a regular basis so I do have a relatively firm grasp on the topic of Spirituality. The beauty of it is just by me writing, I am solidifying the knowledge I have recently acquired from my Spiritual Teacher, Eckhart Tolle.
Basically you want to accept what has happened because there’s nothing you can do to change it. Harboring resentment and pain is destructive upon your spirit, something you do NOT want to do because it only results in suffering. Linking your identity to the past is something that makes no sense because each day provides you with a New Golden Opportunity to create a NEW LIFE. You are not the craziness you did in your past. One thing that will help serve you in dealing with people is that you do not want to link other peoples identity to their past because people change every day. You want to keep an open mind or else you run the risk of making assumptions and ultimately making yourself look like an ass.